Friday, January 11, 2013

Teen Boys and Getting the Stress Out

This is a follow-up post to Boxer's Fracture.

Funny the stories and memories that come back when people saw my son in a cast. We were all truthful about what happened when asked. No lying here.

First I'd forgotten my own brother, as a teen, did the same thing but my father refused to get him medical treatment. My grandmother finally took him to her own family Dr. with her own money but the guy just splinted it. It healed in a displaced way and is all crooked and he has had arthritis in the joints every day of his life ever since. This was relayed to me by my brother when I told him what happened.

Next a homeschool co-op teacher said her house is full of holes from punches from one son. She said many teen boys she knew wrecked their parent's houses in anger destruction fits.

I heard three other families' tales of how their sons all punched walls and broke their hands.

Better was the constructive advice to get boxing gloves and a punching bag, and other hitting implements. The orthopedist and other doctors have all said BOYS need things to hit and destroy or else hard work to do like farming chores, splitting wood and other hard work that WE DO NOT HAVE AVAILABLE TO US LIVING IN THE SUBURBS.

One male nurse said he grew up on a farm and when he got angry his father sent him to the field for the day to mend fences. He said some days he was out there for nine hours until the dinner bell rang. By that time he said he was too tired and hungry and whatever the problem was he'd already forgotten.

One doctor said a lot of teen boys are finding their way into psychiatric hospitals, with mental illness diagnoses and on psych meds to calm down the ya-ya's that in the previous generations were gotten out of the system by hard work or hard sports.

I am glad my son has 3 hours a day of vigorous exercise at his team sport to get some ya-ya's out.

Now that the hand is healed we will shop for some boxing equipment to hang in the garage to beat up on when he's mad or has too much energy.

My son realized he does not want to hurt himself again because it impairs basic daily living, primarily. I frankly think he should also do work to earn money to pay his medical bills. We have a 10% co-payment on all medical services rendered which adds up after many specialist visits and multiple x-rays not to mention the expensive emergency room visit (the pediatrician refuses to see possible bone fractures and refers to the ER).


Ahermitt said...

We have a TaeKwonDo Kick bag (not really a bag, much bigger) in the basement. My son, however, preferred to play the piano when he was frustrated. It always started aggressively and loudly, and calmed into something pleasant in a matter of minutes.

But then my boy is pretty atypical. But if your son's play any instruments... drums? Guitar, I'd offer they try expressing themselves through music.

Me, personally, I like to go into a closet and scream.

Darlene said...

We used to have our teen dig a hole in the yard. Or run around the block. Rake. Hammer nails into a board. Pull nails out of the board. Sawing woods into blocks, nailing blocks together.

In a pinch, a tennis racket smacked against a bed makes a wonderful "thwunk"...