What Younger Son Said About the Way Parents Act

After spending time with adults this last week that we've known for years my younger son (age 11) made the observation that most adults act differently to kids than they act with other adults.

He then went on to say that I act the same with both.

I do not baby talk to babies and I don't talk down to even the smallest of children. I also try to talk to kids with respect. I give them the benefit of the doubt. If they are jerks to me or need putting in line I don't hesitate to step up to the plate, like when I spoke to some Boy Scouts about throwing golf sized landscaping rocks from the professionally made garden at each other and toward the cars in the parking lot (one of which was mine).

I found it funny when my son said that kids like me, they think I am funny. I don't think of myself as funny. His observation is when I interact with his friends and taught classes at the homeschool co-op (he was in some of my classes). He said the kids at co-op loved me. I think they like my direct talking style, or at least the boys and tomboys do.

He also said, though, that I am funnier with other people's kids than I am with him. I explained that I have a different role with other people's kids than with my own. I said I have a responsibility to try to make things go right with him and his brother, that I have taken on homeschooling so the situation is not just me parenting them but also educating them. I said the stakes are higher and it makes me more serious. Lastly I said that he and his brother have a different relationship with me, they can push my buttons or give me more problems to deal with than other kids who I have less contact with. For example I have to be the one to break up their bickering before I go nuts hearing that nonsense. I sometimes have to be The Heavy or The Bad Cop since I'm the only adult present with them most of the time.

My son has been having some interesting conversations with me in the last couple of months. He seems much more introspective now and makes keen observations. He is a very social kid and notices things about people, how people relate to each other and non-verbal (body language) communication, tones of voice people use and noting the way they word things and he reads between the lines. I like learning how his mind works. He's a unique kid, full of opinions and his plain talking is sometimes pretty funny if I do say so myself.