Learning Disabilities and Parenting - A Tough Row to Hoe

Some think that learning disabilities are over-diagnosed. I don't know if they are or if they are not.

If you live with a person with one and you have seen it in action you cannot deny the reality of it. No one would wish those struggles on anyone, let alone someone they love very much.

Sometimes biological issues can hinder learning. A food reaction can cause foggy thinking. Lyme Disease or a concussion can alter one's ability to recall things from memory or to even remember people's names let alone math facts. Past ear infections at early ages can have impeded the child's ability to hear things correctly and they have lasting effects for years.

There is the laziness issue. Some would accuse that the LD person is just lazy and this is a work ethic issue. That is a complicated situation as in some cases yes maybe the person does have a poor work ethic. However other times the person's energy stores are shorter due to their condition and they don't have staying power to be in active learning mode for X number of hours that someone thinks they should. Sometimes the failure and learning struggles came first and they are telling themselves that they'll never learn it, so they give up and it looks like laziness. Other times they are trying their hardest but compared to other kids or the way you are, it looks to us like laziness when really it is them doing their best.

There are issues with the developmental stages of kids. Toddlers with a food allergy can present a parenting challenge. An LD kid learning to read at age five may struggle but maybe someone just says "they are not ready" and maybe they don't get the help they really need. Teenage anger and rebellion may be intermingled with challenges of the LD.

Parenting is hard under typical circumstances. Parenting a child with one or more LDs is really difficult. Parenting a child with traits of giftedness who also had an LD (aka 2E or twice exceptional) can be really trying. Homeschooling a kid with an LD or 2E is an extremely hard thing.

It can seem easy to grasp at any straw to look for solutions. I have found that solutions often do not come easy or fast even if one has the money to pay for a recommended therapy. In my house just trying to get my kid to take a multivitamin is a struggle let alone a three times daily dose of fish oil via capsule and probiotics. Once paying for an expensive therapy is done there is the follow-up at home which can fall by the wayside. So much for thinking, "If we only had the money and could do that then X would be solved".

It can get exhausting to monitor the diet, the supplements, the special therapies, the driving here and there for visits, the wearing of the eyeglasses, and the special techniques needed to teach a topic for homeschooling.

Living like this is hard. I know it is hard as I'm living it. If you are going through this with your child(ren) I know what you are going through.

The only advice I can give is to stay the course and remain diligent and committed. Do not give up. Take it a day at a time and just do your best. The child needs their parents to remain on course and supportive, even if you slacking off or loosening up will seem to make them like you in the short run, don't do it. Tow the line. Set the limits. Make the rules. Give the rewards. Give the consequences. Let them see the error of their ways when they don't cooperate and it makes THEIR life harder.

If you are exhausted and want to give up, don't do it. If the parents give up who then is fighting and helping them? Even if they resist and fight or say they don't want the help, don't listen to them, they do not know what they are really saying. Our kids need us to be there for them even when they are in a low spot and they feel like giving up on themselves.