Who You Get Homeschool Advice From Matters

A brand new homeschooler posted to a discussion list that a teacher she knows told her to use textbooks just as the school uses for her nine year old this year. She guessed he advised it in case she fails, so that he can easily go back to learning in the textbook way. She is interested in the Charlotte Mason method and her son was bored with worksheet learning.

Here is my reply.

Welcome to homeschooling and to this discussion group.

This is a case that illustrates why it is important to know WHY you are homeschooling and what your ideas about your philosophy about learning and teaching are. Yes you are brand new but you do have ideas and opinions about why you chose to go down this path less traveled.

If you ask advice of people not on the same page as you, OR if you listen to unsolicited advice from those not on the same page you are, and if you follow what they say you are essentially choosing to do actions not in alignment with your goal.

The bottom line is be careful who you seek counsel from and instead align yourself with others of like mind, that is what will help guide you to do what it takes to get YOUR goal accomplished.

You've had your first experience with this bad advice or someone telling you should should do A or B (as if it's even their business). Most of us have had this same situation. Most of us have dealt with this not once but many times over the years. Those not on the same page could be your relatives, your best friend, your neighbor, and even homeschoolers you know. Some of these people have good intentions and others have an alterior motive and hope your child winds up back in school. In my case I feel some people I know are almost giddy waiting for me to fail my children so they can accuse me, "I told you so, homeschooling is terrible for children! You should have put them in public school like I said, years ago!"

(There are cases when a child starts homeschooling and the family knows the child will re-enter school again so the goal is to homeschool in lock step with what the public schools are doing and how they are doing it. In other cases some states are strict with homeschool guidelines and you must do essentially what the public school does. From what you said you are not in this situation. We have more freedom in Connecticut than residents in some other states.)

You also should ponder on the importance of aligning yourself with those rooting for your success versus those telling you to do things now to prep for what will happen after your imminent failure.

You explained some of these things in your email but to help further I advise to sit down and write out why you chose to homeschool.

Also write info about your son and his reaction to schoolwork done at school.

What does he thrive with?

What bores him?

What were your hopes for homeschooling?

How did you envision homeschooling being different than school?

What goals do you have for your son's academics?

How would you get those goals accomplished at home, with what materials? (I hope you know you can reach the same goal with different learning methods and different materials than school textbooks at age 9.)

That exercise will really help you. Then every time you are faced with buying curriculum or talking to others you will have more confidence that what you are doing and how you are teaching or how your son is learning is good and right to reach your goal.

Switching topics, I used to use the Charlotte Mason method and hold it in high regard. I started and ran a support group for that method too. However it is nothing like public school's method.

As you go on with homeschooling various things like facing critics will come up, often out of the blue when you are least expecting it. The best we can do is be prepared with simple short answers that are polite and don't get into heated discussions or debates with those ignorant about homeschooling. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" and with each encounter we are more ready for the next one. I've had so many of these conversations over the years I no longer get angry or even annoyed it just rolls off my shoulders.

One more thing, the first year is a learning curve...don't seek immediate perfection or you will feel like you are failing right from the get-go.

You can do this!