Strengths and Weaknesses in Homeschooled Students

I think it's important for a homeschooling mother to have a good perspective and to seek balance when viewing their child's education. The issue of a child's strengths and weaknesses is something the parents should be mindful of. This is a tricky area to navigate.



On the one hand one of the benefits of homeschooling is the child has more freedom to spend time pursuing their interests, strengths, gifts and talents. On the other hand sometimes the parent seems to overly focus on the good of the strengths and may be blinded to the weaknesses or outright deficits (areas where the student really needs some improvement).



It is one thing to speak in a positive manner about a child's success in one or a few areas "he's so ahead in history since he loves it so much" or "she is doing math three grade levels ahead". However it is another thing to only acknowledge the very strong points and to put one's head in the sand about the weak areas. It's great if she's ahead in math but really she's four years behind mainstream American students in her reading ability! That is not optimism in action, frankly it seems that's educational neglect to me (a phrase I abhor using).



I don't want to hear, "kids in school are not all on grade level, they may do the work but really they are not all on par, some kids were taught things and they didn't learn them so if our homeschooled kids are behind in something who cares, they're just like the schooled kids then". I hate that type of rationalization because it is one thing if a child enrolled into a mass schooling system falls through the cracks but it's another thing when a homeschool parent working so closely with their kids who has ample opportunity to see when a child is truly struggling or in need of remediation that CHOOSES not to think about it, research it, seek outside advice (professional or just bouncing the concerns off of another homeschooling parent). I understand that sometimes a parent may not know about a certain learning disability and may not know the signs, but by middle school, with struggling learners, there are usually multiple indicators and red flags that the parent should at least ask around about, do an Internet search about, read a book on, if not first directly seek a professional consultation.



I do not endorse using learning disability labels as an excuse for a student being "behind". The truth is some kids really do have a learning disability and they are suffering due to it not being officially diagnosed and treated. In some cases (including one experience with my older son), parents sometimes see a weakness and make changes to the homeschool method or materials in order to help the child (school people may use other words to describe that). We homeschoolers seem to always think about customizing a child's home education so if a child is exposed to juvenile literature or historical fiction more by listening to audio books on CD from the library than reading a traditional book they see nothing wrong with it. If a child loves to tinker with computers and hates book learning and struggles to read, it does the child harm to just say, "He's not a reader, he will go into computers and doesn't need to read a lot."



As I've shared in past posts about my older son's struggle with an eye tracking issue (which is now resolved after two full years of home therapies), my philosophy is to look for and acknowledge weak areas and try to bring those up while at the same time shooting for decent coverage of the basics and then still have time for extra time working on the strengths and interests (most kids think this is "just having fun" not lessons).



I also feel learning styles and brain dominance can help us select customized learning experiences and study methods for our children. I do not advocate learning styles as an excuse for under-achievement especially when a main reason the child is struggling is that the parent didn’t do anything or enough to remedy their child’s situation.



I am not perfect and I seem to almost always have an internal dialogue going on that sounds like this: "Yes this museum field trip was great and so interesting and that class was inspiring but we never did do that unit study on Beethoven. Well Beethoven is not necessary so that's okay I guess but really I need to buckle down and focus on teaching how to write a persuasive essay, I thought I'd finish that by the end of seventh grade, oops, well maybe we'll do that over the summer".



The hardest thing is juggling home lessons and study time with temptations to do fun and educational things outside the home which take up time not just for the class but for the commute. Let's face it, doing extra study time or putting forth effort on something like perfecting one's writing composition is not always fun for the struggling learner. Basics like some math are just not entertaining for all kids and are viewed as something that "must be done" especially for the college-bound student.



When so much of a homeschooled child's life is fun and enriching and the type that "you can't help but learn something by doing this great thing" working on the hard stuff that takes real focus and intentional studying can seem like a drag. The kids often will try to shirk doing this as face it, it stinks to feel like you are inept and putting forth concentrated effort to learn something hard is frustrating! Homeschool mothers also may be thinking to themselves, "This must not be right to focus on doing such hard stuff because everyone said if I homeschool and plan properly then everything will be fun and learning will be 'natural' and easy! So I'm a failure I guess!"



We homeschooled parents are in charge of guiding our children's path. Even the most self-directed homeschool student needs some basic direction because they don't always know what they need to know especially if they are the type that has a certain career in mind that requires years of academics before meeting the requirements for admission to college for their selected major. Other times our kids don't know something exists so they could not direct themselves to learn about it, but an exposure to the topic piques their interest and may lead to an in-depth study.



In planning how to spend the time doing lessons or which classes or appointments the child has, the parent really needs to seek some balance. Doing a zillion things to advance the strong points while completely neglecting other areas (I'm talking about giant gaps); I don't think is a good idea.



Well, that is something I'm thinking about this summer while pondering all the opportunities my children have for outside activities for learning, sports and Scouts versus what we'll study at home, when and how.



I don't have an easy answer as to how to find time and how to praise a child for their strengths yet to also be aware of weaknesses and to formulate a plan for how the child can work to make strides in their weak areas. It's not an easy thing to do, especially if doing less of great things for a child's strengths must be sacrificed to make time and have energy to address the weaknesses. It seems to me some families sacrifice financially to put money toward a child's strengths yet they seem blind to a child's probable learning disability and refuse to even research the topic let alone spend money to investigate or get treatment for it.



What some parents may not realize is no matter how much a child is told they are very good at one thing they probably are aware of their own deficits and struggles in some other area and may be suffering inside due to it. A good number of children with learning disabilities go to great lengths to hide their negative feelings of self-worth, even from their own loving parents! So praising the area of strength does not erase or cover up negative feelings for the weak areas.



Another issue that I don't want to get me to veer off onto a tangent about too much is some kids are so arrogant about their strengths due to lots of positive praise and being told they're better than other kids, they may not know their own weak areas. Sometimes they wind up braggarts of their strengths, acting as if everything they do is better and superior to everyone around them. If they realized they had some area of average ability and some weaknesses it may provide them with some humble pie that would make them an easier person to be around, less insufferable and more likeable.



Back to the main topic...I'm not saying all kids should wind up being middle-of-the road and mediocre at every subject (which is what some people accuse the public school systems of trying to do). I'd like to see kids not have huge deficits in any subject or skill area (or at least put in much effort to try to remedy this, even if it doesn't fully resolve or if they still are a bit behind). I'd like to see all kids have a general knowledge base and some foundational skills in The Three R's, and have at least one strength and passion they have time to joyfully explore and learn deeply about.



Honestly I don't think navigating any of this is easy. I am adding this to my list of "challenges of homeschooling". It's not a "con" of homeschooling versus attending school. It's just something we homeschool parents have to deal with (that is, unless we put our heads in the sand and pretends the negative things are not real).