There is something called a deep curiosity. (If you haven't figured it out yet and you are a regular blog reader of mine), I have deep curiosities. My twelve year old son has them too. I knew the way I was, and the way my older son is a good thing, before I even knew there was such a thing as a what they call a "deep curiosity". I knew it was good as I have lived the good consequences in real life. I know the joy of discovery and learning as well as the good that can come from applying practical knowledge to one's daily life.
An obsession is unhealthy. An obsession is compulsive not done with planning and thought. An obsession is associated with anxiety. According to The Free Dictionary.com the psychiatric definition of an obsesion is "Psychiatry a persistent idea or impulse that continually forces its way into consciousness, often associated with anxiety and mental illness". As I share more about deep curiosities I hope you will see the huge difference between deep curiosities and obsessions. The two are no where near the same thing!
In the past, I was surprised when people (like my parent-friends and relatives) would seem surprised at my son's deep interests or when they'd tell me they think I take things too far. I had made an error and thought everyone's mind works this way. This is the way my mind works, this is the way I am. I think it's good and I defend deep curiosities! When I was reading about gifted children and adults I leanred this term and the author said not everyone is this way. I was surprised to learn this.
This is what deep curiosities are like for me and my older son:
When I want or need to know something, I research it. To sit and wallow in ignorance is almost maddening. Sometimes I simply MUST know more. Regarding certain topics, such as being told of a medical diagnosis, to sit and just ask a couple of shallow questions of one doctor and let that suffice seems not only crazy but irresponsible and stupid. I cannot let that stand, I take action and start to research. Sometimes this is short and simple and really not much time was invested (some may say "wasted") but other times this is just the start of a large project.
I cannot relate to that other way of being that some people apparently have. I just don't get it. I can't wrap my mind around it. I'm not judging those people but I just can't imagine what it's like, so when others criticize me for my deep curiosities I am befuddled.
Sometimes finding information at the level I'm looking for is not easy in materials for the layperson. It is so annoying to have a list of questions in my mind and reading and researching does not turn up the answers that should be there as the info is shallow and incomplete. I then must turn to materials for professionals such as journals or books that go deeper. I do realize when I'm just not able to understand the technical jargon but you can't blame me for trying to dig deeper in the name of self-education.
Another way to get information is to join clubs and orgnizations with enthusiasts, where laypeople have deep knowledge about this topic. Attending meetings and conferences is sometimes done.
I grew up seeing and living deep curiosities with my mother, but hers was less on the research and reading side (due to her severe dyslexia). Her interests were what people would call hobbies such as tatting, quilting, and stained glass (both design and creating). Now that I think about what my mother did for hobbies when I was a child, I'm amazed. I used to "think nothing of it".
Not only did she enjoy African Violet plants, she researched rare varieties and sent away in the mail for cuttings and propagated them at home under and extensive indoor lighting system (because the local suppliers were non-existant for her niche-topic interest). She showed her plants at shows and won many first place ribbons. Taking it a step further she would create her own hybrids! The reading she did about this was in journals and was high level writing which always surprised me since for simple reading she claimed her dyslexia prevented her from understanding it but she could read technical, dry information on a topic she was deeply interested in and fully understand it all. She also learned directly from people she met in person and learned "hands on" with them as mentors.
My mother would find out all about them by research, buy materials, do the projects, and be a perfectionist about the results. She would appear to be obsessed with something, nearly always got annoyed at some point with less than perfect results, gave up, and quit it (permanently or for a number of years). Then she'd move on to the next interest.
Since I was a child I have been very interested in certain topics. Starting in fifth grade I began doing independent research to answer questions and curiosities I had. I would ride my bike to the public library (or take the school bus there to go for after school visits). Once at the library I used research skills learned during field trips to the library with my public school class to research what I wanted to know. I felt this was a smart and good thing to do. If I couldn't get an answer from an adult (which was the case 99% of the time), I'd go find the answer myself. I didn't feel that there was really any adult around to ask questions of, so I turned to the written word for answers.
Without sharing all the details, I basically saved myself from joining an organization at age eighteen when an organization that was trying to recruit me was labeled the world's largest cult. I had a gut feeling to put them off and went to do my own research at my hometown library which informed me of scary things with this organization and that it was said to be a cult, I was freaked out. I realized my self-education by research basically save me from becoming a cult member. Right then and there I decided that I should continue to research and learn on my own (being an autodidact) for anything and everything I was curious about.
The thing about deep curiosities is the desire to know more is burning and it must be quenched. In the case of things that are also "doing" project type of things, it is great to plan and dive into the doing. Sometimes the doing of the project is harder or different than it seemed when just talking or reading about it. Sometimes real life gets in the way of full enjoyment of the new pursuit.
If after spending loads of time planning a garden, a deer eats it in one evening, it can be enough of a setback to make a person quit gardening. This is what happened with me and knitting. I had two big projects I was so excited about bomb out and were left uncompleted. I was angry and was stuck. I took a break from knitting and lost momentum. (I have a few knitting projects brewing in my mind which I plan to start this summer so I am not done with knitting!)
This is the other part of the issue with deep curiosities, when the person dives in deeply then suddenly quits, it's seen by most people as some sign of something negative. First they thought the person was "too interested" in it. Then they dove in with a big project that they would be afraid to try themselves so the person judges them as being overly ambitious.
The person with deep curiosities may be a perfectionist also and it is annoying for others to hear complaints of how hard it is to do a giant project that it seems no sane person would even attempt. Then when the person quits and moves on to the next thing other people point fingers and say, "I told you that you were going too far, wanting too much why did you bother?". Some people will call these obessions and think the whole thing is downright wacky.
The bottom line is there is a clear difference between a deep curiosity and an obsession. The two do not overlap.
When you understand that the root of a deep curiosity is the joy of learning perhaps you will open your mind to embrace and celebrate those enjoying the quest of fulfilling their deep curiosities. What energizes people with deep curiosities is the learning, the investigating, the pondering of ideas. When planning a project it is fun and energizing to think of all the possibilites. Making decisions about planning the project is fun. Shopping for the stuff and then doing the work is joyful and uplfiting.
What happens sometimes is when one gets stuck in a rut and the learning ceases to occur the hobby or pursuit can stall. For example knitting may be great for a year then a new knitting technique must be learned or it will fizzle out. One can only knit so many basic hats and scarves before it gets boring you know.
Many pursuits have different avenues that can take a lifetime to learn. So while a person may label something "gardening" what really is being done over time is learning about many aspects of gardening which are all different and a whole new area to learn and experiment with. Gardening flowers is not the same as gardening vegetables and herbs and fruit trees and organic is different than the conventional. Gardening in a suburban plot is not the same as trying to garden with the threat of constant deer invasions. One topic can then branch into learning to can and preserve or cooking more from scratch and the rabbit trails go off from there.
Do you have deep curiosities? If so, have you thought maybe something was wrong with you?
Do you know someone like this? Do you judge them and put them down for it?
Do you have children with deep curiosities? If so do you help them and celebrate them or do you criticize them?
My advice: celebrate deep curiosities, please!
Update 7/15/10: The great book I mentioned briefly is A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children by James Webb et al.
Dr. Webb is associated with SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted). I highly recommend SENG support groups as well as the free articles on their website (this one mentions an adult with deep curiosities) and the high quality books published by Prufrock Press. 
7 comments:
This post hit home with me. My parents are this way, as are a couple of my siblings, and also my children and I. I never thought of it in this way... it did seem as though there was something wrong.
The whole lot of us are the same way: intense autodidacts. Some thought will occur, or a word will pop into my head, and I absolutely MUST find out more. The idea of leaving a question entirely unanswered is unbearable to me. While I am learning something, I am excited and enthusiastic. However, often, I will get my fill of the subject, and move on.
I dive head-long into major projects, only to leave them (often) unfinished. It is as though I was satisfying a curiosity, and once I learned what I wanted (which might be no more than "can I do that?") I move on to the next thing.
My children, being the same way, are forever peppering me with questions. When I don't know the answer, "I don't know" will not suffice. So we go look it up, or study it, or experiment, or whatever. Home-schooling has made this an easy thing to do on a daily basis.
This constantly ongoing process annoys my dear husband to no end. He sees it as a weakness of character that I do not just choose a subject, and stick with it. He doesn't get it at all. Consequently, he doesn't support me in any of it. He doesn't wish to hear what the children or I have learned; he balks at paying for any supplies for projects, even though I generally do make it a point to finish whatever I start.
I think it is a matter of differing personalities. Just as it is difficult to wrap our brains around being another way, so too is it difficult for them.
Dear Mrs. H, Thank you for commenting. It broke my heart to hear your husband says leaving a former passion is a flaw of character.
I assume he sees this as lack of persistance. I wish and hope you can enlighten him that this is a way of thinking. It is more than personality, it is a way the brain works.
I am sure, based on some things you said in your comment, that indeed you are a persistent person in many different ways and showing the way you are persistent in other areas maybe will allow him to stop thinking that leaving something you are "done with" (done learning about which has turned boring or revealed itself as not sustaining your mental interest any longer) is different. For example if you have a question about something if you never persue the answer or if you gave up if the answer was not easy to find THAT would be a lack of persistance.
I would also encourage you to find ways to barter, resell, or swap for items. Using Freecycle.org to get free stuff to use, or using Craig's List or tag sales to buy used things to use or to resell what you are done with is one way. I have also been the recipient of stuff like yarn and wool roving from a local knitter happy to share some of her unused items with a new knitter. You could also organize a swap such as a homeschool sale and allow not just curriculum and books but also art supplies, educational games, craft supplies and whatever else suffices.
I agree homeschooling allows a child more freedom to explore these curiosities. Our struggle is often finding time for doing the things that the child has NO interest in (not just learning about one topic ridiculously deeply).
Another challenge for homeschool mothers which I've experienced is the passionate seeking of information that is self-directed is not what happens when a topic is hard to learn or if the topic is of no interest (i.e. a historical period in time, a science topic). The severely opposite ways of approaching learning in one child (or adult) look like night and day. If the homeschool mom is faced with forocing the HS child to learn that other topic it can be so difficult.
If the learner struggles to learn a concept when normally things come very easy it can be demoralizing for the child and confusing. This is not easy to deal with either (or to explain). The kids think if they have to put any effort to learn something they are stupid since formerly the learning was fast, easy, and enjoyable.
Dear Mrs. H, Thank you for commenting. It broke my heart to hear your husband says leaving a former passion is a flaw of character.
I assume he sees this as lack of persistance. I wish and hope you can enlighten him that this is a way of thinking. It is more than personality, it is a way the brain works.
I am sure, based on some things you said in your comment, that indeed you are a persistent person in many different ways and showing the way you are persistent in other areas maybe will allow him to stop thinking that leaving something you are "done with" (done learning about which has turned boring or revealed itself as not sustaining your mental interest any longer) is different. For example if you have a question about something if you never persue the answer or if you gave up if the answer was not easy to find THAT would be a lack of persistance.
I would also encourage you to find ways to barter, resell, or swap for items. Using Freecycle.org to get free stuff to use, or using Craig's List or tag sales to buy used things to use or to resell what you are done with is one way. I have also been the recipient of stuff like yarn and wool roving from a local knitter happy to share some of her unused items with a new knitter. You could also organize a swap such as a homeschool sale and allow not just curriculum and books but also art supplies, educational games, craft supplies and whatever else suffices.
I agree homeschooling allows a child more freedom to explore these curiosities. Our struggle is often finding time for doing the things that the child has NO interest in (not just learning about one topic ridiculously deeply).
Another challenge for homeschool mothers which I've experienced is the passionate seeking of information that is self-directed is not what happens when a topic is hard to learn or if the topic is of no interest (i.e. a historical period in time, a science topic). The severely opposite ways of approaching learning in one child (or adult) look like night and day. If the homeschool mom is faced with forocing the HS child to learn that other topic it can be so difficult.
If the learner struggles to learn a concept when normally things come very easy it can be demoralizing for the child and confusing. This is not easy to deal with either (or to explain). The kids think if they have to put any effort to learn something they are stupid since formerly the learning was fast, easy, and enjoyable.
Wow. . . that really explains Hubby a lot. (And yes, he is highly intelligent and an autodidact.) We have called them "obsessions" even though we didn't really like the negative connotations that go along with it. But along with the serial aspect of some deep curiosities, bits of each of them remain -- definitely enriching life.
Tulip Girl thank you for mentioning something I neglected to share that I agree is true also. It is that whatever was learned impacts life for the better even if it is not used daily or is no longer the hobby/fun thing at the present.
I recall what I learned when researching Breast Cancer for my mother's treatment. I use some info about prevention for myself right now and am HAPPY to not be using the radiation and chemo and stages info for myself or anyone else right now!
More routine organic gardening principals I learned in the mid-1990s are being used right now when I learn about gardening herbs and it is put into daily practice with my veggie garden too. But there was an 8 year gap in gardening due to intense deer population here and a couple of people I knew said, "Oh yeah you used to be into gardening back then but not now." Well, gardening is happening again here!
I am like this, and so was my dad (he has dementia now). My mom is not, and this passion for finding out about stuff, for *knowing* has always driven her nuts.
I have always known this wasn't 'normal,' as in 'typical,' but it never bothered me. My husband is not like this, but he's quite happy for me to be the researcher of the family.
Wonderful post. It is quite easy to assume that other people's brains work they way our own brains do; I've recently come to this realization myself, even though I've "known" it for years. One daughter thinks much the same way I do, and one daughter thinks entirely differently. It's quite a challenge, but in a good way. :)
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