I Didn't Even Bother Trying

At a community event I was attending a mother whose children are in public school in our town began probing me about homeschooling. I had only had short conversations with her two times prior; she's not someone I am friends with. I let her ask questions and I'd give short answers. I no longer turn my responses into mini-workshops or take the question as an invitation for conversion.

At one point she began describing her oldest child (who is the same age as my younger son). She talked about the ways he learns best and what he struggles at. She described my older son perfectly (although I kept that to myself). She described a classic case of a visual-spatial thinker (right brained learner) although she didn't seem to know there were terms for these things. She went on to say how public school teaches with opposite methods and how her son has struggled since Kindergarten with the traditional methods.

However she knows he is smart, she knows he can think, and he has excellent reasoning skills. She said he is creative and has talents and strengths but school has been a nightmare for him. She also said he's a poor test-taker which is an issue given the huge focus our elementary school has on the student's doing well at the state standardized test (the CMT which has been given before NCLB even existed by the way).

That's the point where I begin to feel an ache in my heart. Yet another child who's a square peg being shoved into a round hole.

Then she said it. She said that she's known about the existence of homeschooling but could never do it BECAUSE he learns in different ways than the public school seems to emphasize. She said for that very reason that he seems to learn differently is WHY she could not homeschool.

At that moment I was speechless. Before I could formulate into words how there is more than one way to teach and more than one way to learn and that the very fact that when a square pegged child is removed from the round hole method school they are FREE to learn in other ways, I decided to not bother saying a word about it.

Somehow this mother could realize learners have different styles but somehow she doesn't know that teachers could use different styles, and that includes homeschooling parents. How can a person not know this? She seems intelligent and I know she is a loving mother.

Hasn't she ever heard that the reason that some people homeschool is to use alternative teaching methods?

Does she think all homeschoolers use the exact materials and teaching methods as are used inside a public school? If that was the case why would anyone bother to homeschool?

Those of you who know me may be surprised at how mellowed out I've become over the years when speaking to strangers or acquaintances. I just don't bother much anymore to try to enlighten people. I also find that even when questions are directly asked it seems the asker doesn't really want to hear the answer. Frankly I don't get why they even ask me questions if they don't want to hear the answer. I just give light, non-controversial, polite responses. I don't get into controversies or use any language that could offend them either.

In only a few cases, the people ask more deep and probing questions and it is only then that I open up more and really give them some food for thought.

In all these years only one mother asked me one or two light questions over several months time which actually wound up resulting in one child being homeschooled one year when the school was having a crisis and another child was pulled out of school at the end of eighth grade and thrived being homeschooled for all of his high school years (he's in college now).

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This is the best book on the market with teaching and study methods for visual spatial learners. I keep procrastinating on doing a full book review of it. This book has methods that took me years to learn through my own research using the Internet or reading multiple other books. I also learned some of this while attending conference lectures at homeschooling conferences (spread over years).

The idea that all this information can be purchased in one book for under $13 is wonderful. If you have a visual spatial learner do not hesitate, buy this now. A major focus is on the elementary grades and less so on the teenage years but it is worthwhile for all parents of both schooled and homeschooled right brained learners.

Visual Spatial Learners by Alexandra Shires Golon




Disclosure: I was not paid to write this review or to mention this book. For my blog's full disclosure statement see the link at the top of my sidebar.