Saturday, August 15, 2009

I Think I Was Fighting Something

Just to respond to what I said two days ago about feeling blah and so tired, I think my body was fighting some virus or bacteria or something. I had that blah feeling and fatigue for almost a whole week.

Then all of a sudden, when I woke up and got going yesterday I felt my normal energy level was suddenly back. The energy stayed high right up to bedtime. Today I woke up feeling normal too.

Other good signs yesterday that my creativity spark was back. I went looking online for a new knitting project to use up some yarn I already own (Reynolds Lopi). I found a sweater I want to make and felt inspired and exicted about it. I went to a local yarn shop to buy the pattern book but it was not in stock. I bought more yarn needed for the contasting color that I didn't own. I also saw more of the same colorway and dye lot of the main color in the store (which they told me before they were out of stock on) so I bought two more skeins of that just so I can keep to one dye lot for the whole sweater. Instead of walking around the shop and feeling uninspired and overwhelmed (like I was two days ago) I felt happy and excited. I even researched the pattern book online when back home and found somewhere to buy it and got that done.

I realized I made a mistake on the socks I'm teaching myself to knit and last night did the hard work of erasing what was in my mind about how I did it (incorrectly) and read the directions over and re-learned it the right way. I figured out where the problem was and how that messed up all steps going forward. I then did the work to re-do two stages of the sock knitting process and went on to start the next stage. I was never angry or even frustrated--both good signs that I'm feeling back to my normal self. I have that "I can do this" attitude back.

Three bad things happened to me yesterday and it rolled right off of my back. I didn't react, I didn't engage the offending person, I just let it go and moved forward. I didn't obsess, I didn't ruminate, and I didn't "bitch and moan" (sorry but I can't think of an alternative phrase that has that same meaning). I have actively worked, with great effort, to change my inborn tendency to get angry at things like that or be scared and worry about them.

It is unbelievable how being sick, or "fighting something" or living even with a low grade headache can affect a person's energy level, attitude, or mood.

I much prefer my normal state of feeling well and healthy and having good energy through the day up until at least dinner time (if not until bedtime). It feels better to have creative juices flowing, being happy to learn new things, listen to lectures, read non-fiction books, and being able to think and ponder about issues and stuff (rather than being only able to focus on doing daily tasks). I much prefer feeling optimistic and excited about life. I like the feeling of wanting to talk to friends and wanting to write (and blog). That's what I usually feel like and I'm happy it's back.

1 comment:

Wendy Hawksley said...

Hooray for feeling better! Now you can get the new week off to a fabulous start. :)