Friday, June 19, 2009

Tough Love Story from Fairfield Connecticut

Story from the Fairfield Minuteman 6/18/09 edition's Police Log column.

"Son arrested

A Fairfield mother who was worried when her son didn't come home by the early hours of Sunday morning, checked his room and found a small plastic bag of marijuana. She called police who arrested him when he did get home around 2 a.m. He was released to his mother on a promise to appear in court on June 26."

Now that is tough love.

Or what some call trying to "scare a child straight".

For a mother to do that takes guts!

Some may say she has harmed her child but we don't know the full story so I personally am reserving judgement. In some cases such an action may actually wind up saving a child's life or preventing them from going down a more dangerous path in the near future.


Love 2B Homeschoolers said...

That's going to be on his "permanent record" for a LONG time. If he is convicted he will be ineligible for student aid for college, he will not be able to get a job in any kind of government agency, *all* prospective jobs could be jeopardized, and the list goes on and on.

By trying to "scare [her] child straight" she could actually be causing him to be discriminated against for the rest of his life. For something that *many* people do not see as something that should be illegal at all.

christinemm said...

Love 2 B I was thinking the same thing.

I don't want to judge another as I said I don't know the story.

However thinking of my kids I wondered if I'd want it on their records.

It didn't say the age, if under 17 don't the juv records get sealed anyway?

In any event it gave me some food for thought yesterday and today as well.

On the flip side a very shy boy in high school that I think had a crush on me, who sat behind me in class, kind of an 'invisible' kid. I never thought he was a pothead. But a year after graduation he was arrested for dealing pot and then saw a horrid motor vehicle accident on I-95. It was him. Newspaper said it was a DUI w drugs involved in scene. And then days later he hung himself in a tree in his front yard of his childhood home. The mother reported he'd been battling pot addiction and that she came down on him for being arrested for pot again. Then he offed himself.

Very sad story.

Don't know what I'd have done if my son did that.

Elisheva Hannah Levin said...

Hmmm. Being of a libertarian bent, I would not put my children into the hands of law enforcement. The consequences these days are too great and the infraction she was dealing with was not huge.

My version of scaring my kids "straight" has been to explain to them exactly what even a minor drug conviction now means in these United States. The lives of children (yes, under 18) can be ruined forever due to a drug conviction, because of the so-called war on drugs.
This is one of what Temple Grandin calls "stupid neurotypical rules" that can haunt a person for a very long time.

It is not that I want my children doing drugs--they both have vulnerable brains. It is that I don't believe that a child doing foolish things should be punished for the rest of his life with a record. We are not talking about murder or mayhem here. The mother in question may live to regret her impulsive decision, when she discovers the consequences to her son.

Sarah said...

What a great blog.

You should contact the bizymoms Fairfield community to get your blog featured to their large mom community. I am sure they would love to read your posts.

There is a form on their expert page,