A reader of Mental Multivitamin named J.B. wrote an excellent email to MMV which she published on her blog, the subject is wallowing and how negative it is.
I agree wholeheartedly and have seen this in action. Reagarding various negative things that I am living through I also have been brought down by other people's probing and emoting. There is a big difference between sincere discussion and asking how I'm doing versus probing and emoting. I agree with J.B. that wallowing can bring a person down. If a person is living through some problem, trying to cope or get better or to resolve the situation, the last thing they need is more negativity layered onto them by the probers and emoters.
I have also witnessed this over and over again with other people probing and emoting and bringing down other people. I try to steer as far away from those probers and emoters as possible. I don't want to be within earshot of this probing and emoting.
Also sometimes those people cross into the gossiper label as well, first probing and emoting then turning around and gossiping by spreading whatever they dug up all over the place, in a way that is not helping the situation. I have watched one person do the probing and emoting then, at the same event/party/gathering, turn around behind the other one's back and reveal all the information in a gossip-y way.
My heart goes out to J.B. (who I don't even know) for dealing with his Cancer and trying to not let the probers and emoters bring him down. I know exactly what J.B. is talking about and dealing with it sucks, to put it bluntly.
Most days I try to not use my blog for complaining and whining. Some days I write that stuff as it is on my heart or in my head and choose to never publish it. But if you find something on my blog too wallow-y please feel free to just skip the whole thing as the last thing I hope to do by publishing it is to bring YOU down.