Thursday, October 26, 2006

Over-Scheduled, Need Changes (I’m Not Bragging)

The other day I sat down and made some decisions that needed addressing.

This fall our life was taken over by attending outside events and classes. I completely feel driven in a reactionary type of way trying to do every class and event that we have committed to. It has gotten to a point where the schedule is driving us and is the boss of our family. I don’t like that.

So I am making some changes right now.

First off I will no longer have our family have at least one appointment per day. I need at least one day where we have no standing commitments. This is not to mention the fact that as time progresses ‘one time’ events get added into the mix, a child’s birthday party, a relative’s birthday party, a charity event, etc. It has ended up that on some days we have three or four appointments, all that plus trying to do homeschooling lessons at home and also errands and making meals, cleaning up from that, doing housework, and other daily living responsibilities! That is insanity.

If we are going to continue to attend church and Sunday School I want no other Sunday commitments. I need one day to feel ‘off duty’. In the last three weeks the children and I have not attended church/Sunday School as I am just too burned out (and there is another issue which I won’t get into here).

If we are going to have Sunday for church and relaxing time that means errands must be done on another day (like Saturday). However that means Saturday must be open for errands not booked with other appointments.

I need to have at least one weekday where there is no standing appointment. I would prefer to have two weekdays that are free, actually but I am not sure if that is possible.

I am burned out of the 3-4 hour long homeschool park day that happens every week. I have decided that I am not going to the remainder of the park days for the year. It is winding down due to colder weather anyway.

When Chess Strategy Session I class ends next week I am not renewing the boys into Session II.

We have spread out the Junior First LEGO League competition to twice per month not every week.

I am doing only one playdate per week with friends. I am being more picky about the classes that the kids take and am making sure that some of their friends are in the classes so that time is also ‘friend-seeing-time’ rather than having just playdates for seeing friends.

We are not doing every single optional (and fun) Cub Scouting event. We will not win any award this year for being an uber-Scouting family. We are doing just some of the events and are enjoying them, period. I am attending less of the optional Leaders meetings as I don’t want to do more than one Scouting activity per week. Some weeks there are chances to do three things per week, forget that, it is way too much.

Last week I hit the resentment wall. That is the point where I feel that I am not in control of anything in our life (when in reality as a non-working homeschooling mother I should feel fully in control of nearly everything). I am feeling resentful toward the outside classes and events as we are not getting the lessons done at home which I had wanted to do, due to running here and there. We have all gotten sick once already this fall due to being overtired. I also feel like my needs are coming last and that is not right. For example I just realized I am behind on getting my teeth cleaned, my annual GYN visit done and also am behind on getting my eyes checked and getting new contact lenses (this pair is wearing out). Funny how my kids and my pets get better health care than I give myself (that is NOT good).

I want to feel happy and grateful and healthy and have spare time and feel relaxed. I want time to read and to not feel guilty if what I do is sit on a couch and read a book just for me.

Thanks for listening to me vent about this!

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2 comments:

Mark and Cyndy Weiss said...

Get a Maid, I'm Serious

Mark Weiss

Mrs. Darling said...

I dont have nearly as many activities for the kids as you do and I did hire a maid. We moms just cant do it all. Wishing you the best.