Monday, May 02, 2005

Kindergarten boys found having sex in school bathroom

Two Kindergarten boys were caught giving each other oral sex in the public school bathroom; see news article dated 4/19/05.

I hope they are investigating if these children have been sexually abused. Taking part in a sexual act at a young age is one indicator that a child has been sexually abused (and therefore that is how they learned about that act and why they think it is okay to participate in the same act with other people). I feel sad about these two children and hope if one or both had been abused that they get the counseling they need to prevent future problems psychologically as well as to stop them from taking part or coercing other children into sexual acts (in essence, sexually abusing other young children).

As to the solution the school proposed about having a teacher accompany children to the bathroom, this does not seem feasible to me. Perhaps they could hire bathroom attendants. When I was in high school in the 1980s we had a “matron” who patrolled the bathrooms. She was a little old lady who was tough as nails. She kept the bathrooms clean but also was watching to see if anyone was putting graffiti on the stall walls and to make sure no one was smoking in the bathrooms. We were all afraid of her.

Thinking of monitoring the children, this goes back to the school bus issue. I wonder if this school district wonders if a sexual act could happen on the bus. Maybe they should get bus monitors as well. It is typical that a school/town will make a policy in reaction to an incident; it is always reactionary rather than precautionary. When my husband was a child, a school bus ran over a student, killing the student. The policy was changed to have a school bus monitor on every bus, whose job it is to watch out for every child leaving the bus and to make sure that the driver doesn’t run them over. Over 20 years later, and the town still has this policy in place.

Child Sex Abuse Prevention
A great book about preventing sexual abuse of our children is “Protecting the Gift : Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)” by Gavin de Becker. This book focuses on using and trusting our intuition as parents, and teaching the child to listen to their own intuition, to prevent abuse. Other safety measures are included as well, such as common behaviors of pedophiles. Signs of sexual abuse are given and the author begs us to not be in denial if we notice these signs in our children. Every parent should read this book when their children are very young, since the age at which most children start being sexually abused is age three.

4 comments:

Karen said...

Wow! I almost could not believe my eyes when I read your post and saw this artcile off to the side. I do believe it is possible to happen and is becoming more common today. For those 2 6 year olds to be punished further baffles me. They need counselling, and to see if there is any abuse in the home. Furthermore, where did they learn it from? Thank goodness you have recommended a book for parents to read to become familiar with this issue.

C. Anthony said...

christinemm,

You stated, "these children have been sexually abused" that, "Taking part in a sexual act at a young age is one indicator that a child has been sexually abused".
That is not entirely correct. Case and point, When I was 5 yrs old I engaged in oral sex with my cousin of about the same age. and when I was 5 yrs old I did achieved intercourse with a five year old girl next door in my back yard.
I was not sexually abused neither was my cousin nor was the girl who lived next door to me. Unless you call being exposed to pornography and the playboy channel abuse, I was not sexually abused by anyone.
I was merely acting out what I had seen on TV. And access to the playboy channel was due to my brother who tried to kick me out of the room.
So I think it may be fair to say that they "May" have been sexually abused, however it is more likely they seen it in a magazine, on TV, or overheard someone talking about it.

C. Anthony said...

christinemm,

You stated, "these children have been sexually abused" that, "Taking part in a sexual act at a young age is one indicator that a child has been sexually abused".
That is not entirely correct. Case and point, When I was 5 yrs old I engaged in oral sex with my cousin of about the same age. and when I was 5 yrs old I did achieved intercourse with a five year old girl next door in my back yard.
I was not sexually abused neither was my cousin nor was the girl who lived next door to me. Unless you call being exposed to pornography and the playboy channel abuse, I was not sexually abused by anyone.
I was merely acting out what I had seen on TV. And access to the playboy channel was due to my brother who tried to kick me out of the room.
So I think it may be fair to say that they "May" have been sexually abused, however it is more likely they seen it in a magazine, on TV, or overheard someone talking about it.

christinemm said...

C. Anthony,

You bring up something to think about. I thought about what you said and this is what I've come up with.

It is my understanding that a minor aged child is exposed to pornography or sexual content it is illegal as the law is clear about the age a person is supposed to be before viewing it.

I just checked the Connecticut information, here

http://www.smith-lawfirm.com/criminal_penal_statutes.html

specifically referencing 53-21
" Injury or risk of injury to or impairing morals of children" which this site says is a Class C Felony.

So in other words a child does not have to be touched by the guilty party but they may show photos or porn to a child. The 'victim' then but just have their 'morals' affected to have been the victim of a crime which is classified in legal terms as a sexual offense---in which the minor aged child is then considered a victim of child sexual abuse.

I learned of this term after seeing the legal term for it on the list of convicted sexual offenders that is published in the Internet--the listing where you can look up any location (i.e. your home address) and see on a map all the places where past convicted sexual offenders both live and work. That map tells the name of the person, some of their personal info (i.e. physical characteristics), their photo, name, address, and what they were convicted of.

You can view this map and information on this site.

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

If a family member has pornography in their home including something viewable on a cable television channel and that is shown to a minor it is illegal it seems to me and that incident would then be something that could be reported to the Dept of Children and Families and investigated by the state for abuse or it might be reported to the police for investigation.

If an accidential viewing of pornography occurs and the childs 'morals' are 'impaired' (such as a five year old knowing about a sexual action that is not typical for a five year old to know about or particpate in doing) then the child is still a victim, are they not? Similar to a child who accidentially ingests alcohol, where the parent may get into legal trouble for having a risky substance (alcohol) within reach of a child and the child not having been supervised well enough by their parent to prevent accidential ingestion.

Also similar to a parent who keeps a loaded gun in the house and does not take measures to protect accidental use by a child and an accident occurs, a child is killed and then someone is arrested (who was not even present). You know what I am referring to, such as a child shows the gun to a friend and it accidentially is fired and someone dies. There have been news reports of that that I recall.

I have been told a statistic that sometimes the sexual abusers are relative such as older cousins or older siblings. Other times the sexual abuse initiators are children of the same age or maybe even younger.

It could be said too that if two children were 'playing doctor' or some other thing and both were just playing and satisfying curiosity it was not 'abuse'.

But a child who is forced and coerced physically to participate in a sexual act by the aggressor is a victim of sexual abuse it seems to me!!